Archive for the ‘Ha!Ha! Codes’ Category

Post

C Program to propose a girl

In Friends Corner, Ha!Ha! Codes on April 21, 2006 by Sandeep Jain

Yesterday my friend mailed me this C program to propose a girl. Read it and enjoy!

#include “STD ISD PCO.h”
#include “love.h”
#define Cute  beautiful_lady
 
main()
{
      goto college;
      scanf(“100%”,&ladies);
 
      if(lady ==Cute   )
            line++;
      while( !reply )
      {
 
            printf(“I Love U”);
 
            scanf(“100%”,&reply);
 
      }
 
      if(reply == “GAALI”)
            main();  /* go back and repeat the process */
 
      else if(reply ==  “SANDAL “)
            exit(1);
 
      else if(reply == “I Love U”)
      {
            lover =Cute ;
            love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));
      }
 
      goto restaurant;
 
restaurant:
      {
            food++;
            smile++;
            pay->money = lover->money;
            return(college);
      }
 
      if(time==2.30)
            goto cinema;
 
cinema:
      {
            watch++;
            if(intermission)
            {
                  coke++;
                  Popecorn++;
 
            }
      }
 
      if(time ==6.00)
            goto park;
 
park:
      {
            for(time=6.30;time<=8.30;time+=0.001)
                  kiss = kiss+1;
      }
 
      free(lover);
      return(home);
 
      if(time ==9.30)
            goto pub;
 
pub:
      {
            friends++;
            party++;
            booze++;
            smoke++;
 
            if(pub.close())
            {
                  pay->bill;
                  come->out;
            }
      }
 
      if (highly->intoxicated)
            goto friendsroom;
      else
      {
            sweetpan++;
            polo++;
            goto home;
      }
 
friendsroom:
      {
            goto sleep;
      }
 
home:
      {
            if(mom.shouts())
            {
                  reason=(combinedstudy || projectwork ||
                        friendsbday);
                  say->reason;
            }
            if(dad.shouts())
                  shut->yourmouth;
 
            call->lover;
            if(phone->voice==(lover_dad->voice ||
                  lover_mom->voice))
            {
                  hang++;
            }
            else if(phone->voice==lover->voice)
            {
                  for(time=12:30;time<=1.30;time+=0.001)
                  {
                        say->ILuvU;
                        scanf(“100%”,&reply); /* “I Love U” already
                                                        stored in reply */
                  }
            }
            goto sleep;
      }
 
sleep:
      {
            *(dream)=love;
      }
}

Post

Which excuse will you give?

In Ha!Ha! Codes, Visual Basic on April 1, 2006 by Sandeep Jain

A another Ha!!!Ha!!! code.....

Private Function getProgrammerExcuse() As String

Dim myExcuses(1 to 21) As String

myExcuses(1) =  "That's Weird..."
 myExcuses(2) =  "It's never done that before."
 myExcuses(3) =  "It worked yesterday."
 myExcuses(4) =  "How is that possible?"
 myExcuses(5) =  "It should be the hardware problem."
 myExcuses(6) =  "What did you did to that crashed the system"
 myExcuses(7) =  "There is something weird in your data"
 myExcuses(8) =  "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
 myExcuses(9) =  "You must be having the wrong version"
 myExcuses(10) = "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
 myExcuses(11) = "I can't test everything!"
 myExcuses(12) = "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
 myExcuses(13) = "It works, but it's not been tested."
 myExcuses(14) = "Somebody must have changed my code."
 myExcuses(15) = "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
 myExcuses(16) = "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
 myExcuses(17) = "You can't use that version on your system."
 myExcuses(18) = "Why do you want to do it that way?"
 myExcuses(19) = "Where were you when the program blew up?"
 myExcuses(20) = "I thought I fixed that."
 myExcuses(21) = "This is not a bug,it's undocumented feature."

Dim randomChoice As New Random(UBound(myExcuses))
 Dim iRandomChoice As Integer = randomChoice.Next()

Return myExcuses(iRandomChoice)

End Function

Which excuse will you give??

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Persons Reactions to Jokes Quiz and puzzles

In Ha!Ha! Codes on March 24, 2006 by Sandeep Jain

A programmer that describes the way the people react to the Jokes, Quiz and Puzzles in different countries.

if (Actione=Jokes || Quiz || Puzzles)
{
    echo “Make your fellow member laugh. Have FUN here “
}
else (your reaction)
{
if(egyption)
{
    echo “hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. “
}
else (american)
{
    echo “lol.”
}
else (indian)
{
    echo “I dont know???”
}
}

Post

Love Letter

In Ha!Ha! Codes on March 17, 2006 by Sandeep Jain

This post I am going to write a love letter that usual a excellent programmer would write for his girlfriend.

do
{
printf(“\nI love you.”);
}while(GF.Heart!=ExtraLove);

Note: In above code GF is structure for a GirlFriend and Heart is the member of that structure.

So the next time you are asked to write a love letter, open your C++ Compiler, Copy & Paste this code and run it. All your internal feeling will get imposed on your GF’s heart.

Post

Edit Code Monthly

In Ha!Ha! Codes on March 13, 2006 by Sandeep Jain

 One day I came across a newly learned programmer. I asked him to show his programming skill by writing the program that shows the day of the week when date is provided. So he started the coding with…
 
if (date = 6 or date = 13 or day = 20 or day =27 ) then
weekday= “Monday”
 

if (date = 7 or date = 14 or day = 21 or day =28 ) then
weekday= “Tuesday”
 

if (date = 8 or date = 15 or day = 22 or day =29 ) then
weekday= “Wednesday”
 
:
:
…and he continued
 
Then I asked him that what did he think of his own code, whether it will work for every month???
He said I will just edit it every month….
Hearing this my 32 teeth’s started showing off. Oh sorry I have one less.

Post

Code to Sleep

In Funny and Weird, Ha!Ha! Codes on February 21, 2006 by Sandeep Jain

Can’t Sleep? Need to count Horse,Sheep etc. to sleep. Here is my code for that kind of persons.

In C

#include”Stdio.h”

void main()

{

int count=0;

do{

count++;

}while (count!=Sleep);

printf(“\nI am Sleeping”);

}

 

In Visual Basic

Private Sub Form_Load()

while not sleep

txtCount.text=txtCount.text+1

wend

End Sub

Now to sleep just run any one of the above two programs.

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Computer Crazy Human

In Funny and Weird, Ha!Ha! Codes on February 20, 2006 by Sandeep Jain

Some of the people in life are so much computer crazy that they always talk, sing in computer language. So one of the cartoon that I came across was like this….

Gonna Help him or press F1!F1!F1!

Gonna Help him...

Are you Computer Crazy?

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Got a trouble in School..

In Funny and Weird, Ha!Ha! Codes on February 19, 2006 by Sandeep Jain

When I remember my school, I do remember the day when I went late to the school and my principal asked me to write “I will not come late again” 1000 times. Sad, Diffuse but at that time I wrote it, but now if any one tells me to do so, I will just write……..

#include
#include

void main()
{
int i;
for (i=0; i!=1000;i++)
{
printf(“\n I will not Come Late Again.”);
}
printf(“\n\n\n I finished first….”);
getch();
}

So from now onwards I will go late every day…